Guitar Goggles
Though I have always been suspicious of my own susceptibility to this commonly recognized phenomenon, it wasn't until the month of February that my all-out defenselessness was revealed and given a name: Guitar Goggles. It's so bizarre and mysterious to me but I also can't deny that it's true.
I assume some of you have heard of "beer goggles", the situation in which one's consumption of alcohol makes physically unattractive persons appear more attractive. For guitar goggles, this same principle is applied, only more specifically it is from the female perspective applied to gentlemen musicians who play guitar on stage. I was at the Lord Huron show in early February watching the opening band, Night Moves, when the most striking presentation of this weakness I have ever experienced occurred.
I was already having a lovely evening, having just found a new group of music-loving, concert-going friends. We were getting to know one another and riding high on anticipation for the headliners when the opening act took the stage. A stringy, early-20s boy comes on stage with pubescent stubble and one of the worst sweaters I have seen in real life. He sported impossibly skinny black jeans, and longish, unwashed, poorly-dyed reddish-purple hair, worn in the 1990s grunge rock style about chin-length and parted in the center. He also wore a long necklace of large, clear beads. I remember thinking, that guy embodies the worst aspects of all three of my decades. This is the guy who stepped on stage:
Immediately and palpably, the feeling hit. A tingling from my head to my toes, not excluding my loins (which, incidentally, is the most uncomfortable word in the English language). What IS IT about guys and guitars? If I had seen this guy in the crowd of spectators at 9:30 club, I would have pitied him and judged him a fashion victim. As it stands I did judge him, but when he put on his guitar, I stopped judging him and started being very interested in him. I wanted to ask him lots of questions. I wanted to be closer to him. For no other reason than he is a creator of music, a player of instruments. Musicians and what they create have a power over me like no other art form. It's not that I had never noticed this happen before. But this time I was fully aware of the night and day difference between my perception of this guy pre-and post-band member status identification.
During the break between sets I asked one of my new friends about it. I asked her if she felt it too. She gave me a knowing, sympathetic look. "Ohhhh yes". She knew the feeling well. And I asked her if she knew why we feel that. She said it's because they are showing us a part of their soul, they are being vulnerable. I think I agree with that, but is that all it is? I cannot deny that there is something extremely intense happening and it's not just a little bit sexual.
Case in point: I was at a concert on Sunday night last week and it was a seated, quiet show. The opening act was a cellist, but not classical. He was funny and engaging and played pop-indie music on his instrument and it was awesome. You could tell he was a smart guy. You could also tell he was married. He was playing the cello for crying out loud. It was super easy to see his hands. There was a girl seated at the table right next to me, jammed into my left side, and I could hear everything she and her friends said all night. After the opener's set, she wandered away from the table for a bit. When she came back, she had the cellist with her! She dragged him up to the foot of the stage, while the headliner was playing, and he sort of knelt behind her while she took her seat at the table with her friends. Thus he was right beside me too. Then she scooted over in her seat and beckoned him to share it with her. Sure enough, he did. You could tell he was hesitant, not wanting to disappoint a fan and make it weird, but also knowing it was pretty clear what this girl was after. Certainly it wasn't this guy's first time at the fan-girl rodeo. But he sat down and she put her head on his shoulder. She started talking to him, praising him. At one point she said "It's so refreshing to see a live artist who's really a live artist." I'm not sure what that means exactly, but I know what she was really saying: "just letting you know, I'm pretty interested in sleeping with you," or in the immortal words of DJ Pauly D, she was "100% DTF". I think at that point the cellist saw he needed to get out, so he said "thanks for listening, I'll see you later." and got up and went back to the bar area.
The power is live, and dangerous. And it's a dangerous power that their fans wield over them as well. I believe I witnessed a moment where a man's commitment to his marriage vows was tested in a real way. We, as fans or even just spectators, feel like we know them after hearing them perform. Intimacy is created in the simple act of sharing deeply with someone and if a musician's lyrics are true and honest, I don't think that feeling of wanting to be close to them can be avoided. And we want to be even closer! We want that distance between the stage and the floor to be removed totally. We want total intimacy. I think today, as Dr. Dale Kuehne says in the book I'm reading right now, that intimacy and sex mean the same thing in today's vernacular. The girl in my story above wanted to be close to this musician and the best way she knew how was to try and hook up with him. Then, I remember thinking this guy is literally kneeling at this girl's feet. Maybe it's a small stretch to say, but I don't think that guy follows that girl up there to her seat if he's not playing with fire a little bit. She affirmed his sharing of a very personal thing - his music. It's not only his livelihood, it's part of his soul being bared each night. If someone, anyone, sees that and loves it, you would probably be grateful and more open to that person. That's my natural reaction to people who sincerely affirm and take interest in me.
I think my friend was right. I think an exchange of vulnerability is at the heart of the guitar goggles phenomenon - a unique occurrence of soul-bearing intimacy. That's also what turns someone who writes really good songs into a great performer, they have to connect with the audience. The currency that performers and listeners exchange is powerful and can lead to real experiences, spiritual, emotional, and maybe even physical. I hope it's not all objectification, though I'm sure part of it is, if I'm being honest. But these moments where someone tells you something true, even if its in a song, on stage, in front of lots of other people, creates an intimate moment, and that, no matter what it looks like on the outside, is always sort of beautiful.
I assume some of you have heard of "beer goggles", the situation in which one's consumption of alcohol makes physically unattractive persons appear more attractive. For guitar goggles, this same principle is applied, only more specifically it is from the female perspective applied to gentlemen musicians who play guitar on stage. I was at the Lord Huron show in early February watching the opening band, Night Moves, when the most striking presentation of this weakness I have ever experienced occurred.
I was already having a lovely evening, having just found a new group of music-loving, concert-going friends. We were getting to know one another and riding high on anticipation for the headliners when the opening act took the stage. A stringy, early-20s boy comes on stage with pubescent stubble and one of the worst sweaters I have seen in real life. He sported impossibly skinny black jeans, and longish, unwashed, poorly-dyed reddish-purple hair, worn in the 1990s grunge rock style about chin-length and parted in the center. He also wore a long necklace of large, clear beads. I remember thinking, that guy embodies the worst aspects of all three of my decades. This is the guy who stepped on stage:
And then he strapped on his guitar and I had to rub my eyes because I was seeing this:
And we all started to go like this:
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During the break between sets I asked one of my new friends about it. I asked her if she felt it too. She gave me a knowing, sympathetic look. "Ohhhh yes". She knew the feeling well. And I asked her if she knew why we feel that. She said it's because they are showing us a part of their soul, they are being vulnerable. I think I agree with that, but is that all it is? I cannot deny that there is something extremely intense happening and it's not just a little bit sexual.
Case in point: I was at a concert on Sunday night last week and it was a seated, quiet show. The opening act was a cellist, but not classical. He was funny and engaging and played pop-indie music on his instrument and it was awesome. You could tell he was a smart guy. You could also tell he was married. He was playing the cello for crying out loud. It was super easy to see his hands. There was a girl seated at the table right next to me, jammed into my left side, and I could hear everything she and her friends said all night. After the opener's set, she wandered away from the table for a bit. When she came back, she had the cellist with her! She dragged him up to the foot of the stage, while the headliner was playing, and he sort of knelt behind her while she took her seat at the table with her friends. Thus he was right beside me too. Then she scooted over in her seat and beckoned him to share it with her. Sure enough, he did. You could tell he was hesitant, not wanting to disappoint a fan and make it weird, but also knowing it was pretty clear what this girl was after. Certainly it wasn't this guy's first time at the fan-girl rodeo. But he sat down and she put her head on his shoulder. She started talking to him, praising him. At one point she said "It's so refreshing to see a live artist who's really a live artist." I'm not sure what that means exactly, but I know what she was really saying: "just letting you know, I'm pretty interested in sleeping with you," or in the immortal words of DJ Pauly D, she was "100% DTF". I think at that point the cellist saw he needed to get out, so he said "thanks for listening, I'll see you later." and got up and went back to the bar area.
The power is live, and dangerous. And it's a dangerous power that their fans wield over them as well. I believe I witnessed a moment where a man's commitment to his marriage vows was tested in a real way. We, as fans or even just spectators, feel like we know them after hearing them perform. Intimacy is created in the simple act of sharing deeply with someone and if a musician's lyrics are true and honest, I don't think that feeling of wanting to be close to them can be avoided. And we want to be even closer! We want that distance between the stage and the floor to be removed totally. We want total intimacy. I think today, as Dr. Dale Kuehne says in the book I'm reading right now, that intimacy and sex mean the same thing in today's vernacular. The girl in my story above wanted to be close to this musician and the best way she knew how was to try and hook up with him. Then, I remember thinking this guy is literally kneeling at this girl's feet. Maybe it's a small stretch to say, but I don't think that guy follows that girl up there to her seat if he's not playing with fire a little bit. She affirmed his sharing of a very personal thing - his music. It's not only his livelihood, it's part of his soul being bared each night. If someone, anyone, sees that and loves it, you would probably be grateful and more open to that person. That's my natural reaction to people who sincerely affirm and take interest in me.
I think my friend was right. I think an exchange of vulnerability is at the heart of the guitar goggles phenomenon - a unique occurrence of soul-bearing intimacy. That's also what turns someone who writes really good songs into a great performer, they have to connect with the audience. The currency that performers and listeners exchange is powerful and can lead to real experiences, spiritual, emotional, and maybe even physical. I hope it's not all objectification, though I'm sure part of it is, if I'm being honest. But these moments where someone tells you something true, even if its in a song, on stage, in front of lots of other people, creates an intimate moment, and that, no matter what it looks like on the outside, is always sort of beautiful.
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