Monday, August 07, 2006

The Load Out/Stay

A song that has played not infrequently on my iPod as of late is Jackson Browne's fantastic live version of "The Load Out" which bleeds into a cover of "Stay" by the Five Satins at the end. Such a great song. And what a great time for it to find it's way into the random rotation of shuffle mode.
(sidenote: I have a real belief that the shuffle mode is really not so random after all, due to coincidences that were so amazing and unbelievable, I can't call them coincidences. Not while I believe in God anyway. )
I digress. That's a whole other entry waiting to happen. Anyway, the Load Out. First of all, I'm not really sure what the history of the song is. Maybe I'll look it up online really fast and then write it out for you all and it will be like I knew it all along... no one will ever know... Basically, what I'm concerned with is the premise of them only playing that song live. It would seem out of place if they recorded it on an album because of the lyrics being so specific to playing a show and being on tour. Plus, the stadium reverb and the echo of the lonely piano, such a wonderful effect that really adds to the meaning of the song. I'm not really a huge Jackson Browne affficionado, or fan for that matter. I just really like a few of their songs, i.e. the ones they play on classic rock radio. So it seems from my incredible bank of knowledge (the internet) that "the Load Out/Stay" is only on a live album, and has only ever been recorded live. So all is well with the world.

Here are the lyrics to the song:
http://www.lyricsfreak.com/j/jackson+browne/the+loadout_20068514.html

You read them and it's just the song of a guy who loves what he does, but sees how the moving all over the place and the constant push to always be somewhere new is draining, except for the wonderful fans who await him at each new destination. That's what has been resonating with me as of late. With all the moving and packing and bouncing around I've done in the last year, it's made me a little tired and a little lonely. Rootless, that's probably the best word for it. Of course, like Jackson, I love what I'm doing. I love where I am and I love where I'm gonna be and the opportunity to go to this rather exotic place and start over. But, also like Jackson, I feel like a pinball machine. I get through the tediousness of having to get rid of my stuff and leave my comfortable little space by thinking of the adventure that awaits. It's starting over again that's the greatest and the worst at the same time.

The juxtaposition of "Stay" at the end of a song about leaving is also awesome. He's talking about wanting to stay and play more music and keep the fans going because he loves it so much. I guess I'm just thinking about it in terms of leaving the awesome community I have here. It is so tempting to just think to myself "staaaay... just a little bit looonger, please let me hear you say you will..." but while I know that might be the easy thing to do and it might be the most comforting thing to do (great friends, great church, great apartment, great location, great little town) I know there's more out there. It's just time to go. And that's a little scary, but also exciting.

The song played on my computer when I was hauling boxes in and taking all my pictures down and when I was sitting, typing an e-mail in a completely empty room. Jackson, keep singing that song, man. You're singing my heart.

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