2018: My Year in Music
The year started out a blur, trying to dismantle a household built over 4 decades. Trying to get my head around the fact that I even had to do it and why.
I tried so many times to write this post, but every time I would pick it up I just wanted to throw it away. So now, at the end of 2019, with a little time on my hands, I picked up the question of writing it again. I managed to complete 2017's entry a few months ago. And then it only seemed right to complete this one. The playlist was there, and I kept thinking about what I would write if I ever got around to it. And now, I think it's time to face the music (ha!).
So, here it is. My songs of 2018 with all the beloved color commentary and neuroses you've come to expect from me below the playlist in case you'd like some context for the choices. Enjoy, friends!
"I Know A Place" - MUNA
I so needed a place like is being described in this song in 2018. I liked thinking about safe places where I could lay down my weapons and protecting myself all the time and, as cliché as it may sound, to be completely free of responsibility -- untethered. KG and I did our first "tune-up" trip this summer on the heels of a wedding I went to out in Colorado and it was the first time I had felt that untethered feeling in a long time. It healed me in ways I cannot express in words. Big skies, no walls, and the open road feel like the safest places for me these days.
Hearts Beat Loud - Keegan DeWitt (from Hearts Beat Loud OST)
I watched this movie on a flight from Nepal to Doha in October at the end of a month-long intense journey that started in Italy and took me through Switzerland, Germany, Kuwait and into the Himalayas. I can't remember a movie that pushed more emotional buttons in me. It's about a father/daughter bonding journey and it revolves around music. I was emotionally weak when I watched it, exhausted and exhilarated from the grand adventure, and this movie and its soundtrack was like a warm blanket of comfort.
La Marcheuse - Christine and the Queens
I have developed a deep, abiding love for very long walks. In the summer, when it's dark and a bit cooler, I would leave my house around 8 and not come back for hours. Something about the rhythm and the movement has been so helpful for me to start to unknot some of the very messy things in me. The Camino was the first time I realized the grace and peace of a long walk, and taking a long time to get somewhere. I think this song gets at that same sentiment, when there are hard things, "easy violence", that have come into your life, sometimes the best thing, or the only thing, is to walk.
Do I Have to Talk You Into It - Spoon
I love how Spoon never sounds like anyone else, and that's been true for the 2+ decades they've been at it as a band. Good on ya, boys. It's no easy feat to preserve a unique voice and sound for that long and be committed to it. I admire it so much, and hope for that very same thing in my own life.
Signals - Júníus Meyvant
I love the steady beat of this song. I listened to this on the tune-up trip while in the wilds of Utah's canyonlands in high summer and it was perfect. Remind me to tell you about the time on that trip that Bruce Springsteen got me out of a reckless driving ticket and almost got me a date with a highway patrolman.
Ekki Hugsa - ólafur Arnalds
Ah how beautiful this song is, an intriguing blend of symphonic and electronic, nostalgic and hopeful. Perfect for listening when staring at a beautiful landscape, preferably one that stretches out endlessly before you that includes water, or lots of snow. Something in it makes my heart swell and lifts me up each time I hear it.
Songs of Travel 4: Youth and Love - Ralph Vaughan Williams feat. Bryn Terfel
Possibly the most gorgeous piano introduction I've ever heard. To me, it sounds exactly like the ephemeral glisten of youth and love. And Bryn Terfel's beautiful, rich baritone above it's dulcet melody is other-worldly.
Every Time I Hear That Song - Brandi Carlisle
Those that love music, and sometimes even people that don't, often have songs associated with moments or people. Music is really special that way and it can also be a curse. I completely feel for Brandi and people in this same boat. There are so many things that I hear in the normal course of life that when I do I am instantly put back into a moment or completely enveloped with thoughts of a specific person I associate with whatever music it is. It's a beautiful thing but also sometimes kind of hard. I've gotten better at the distractions now, but if you ever see me get a faraway look in my eye when we're deep in conversation, you should just tell the place where we are to turn the music down. And, I'm sorry in advance. I promise, if you ask I'll tell you the story. It's usually a good one. And in closing, let's all take a moment to appreciate Brandi Carlile's consistently fantastic songwriting.
Lift the Lonely From My Heart - Courtney Marie Andrews
In the tradition of the grandes dames of country music like Dolly, Loretta, Patsy, Linda, Bonnie, this song harkens back to a bygone era. I love the retro sound and the unabashed emotion on display. It's perhaps a little too over-the-top for every day listening but every once in a while you just need a good heartbreaker of a song. I read Loretta Lynn's autobiography in 2018 and completely loved it. I also recommend the eponymous biopic starring Sissy Spacek and Tommy Lee Jones.
Traveling Alone - Tift Merritt
Something I'm getting a lot of experience in these last couple of years, and that I've developed a pretty serious taste for. I first saw Tift Merritt in the pouring rain of a bluegrass festival in western North Carolina with my brother and father in 2013. She caught my ear then and I've been listening to her beautiful voice, pedal steel, and kindred spirit for years.
Wild Fire - Laura Marling
Another incredible songwriter, with a powerful, poignant and gorgeous song. "Wouldn't you die to know how you seem? Are you getting away with who you're trying to be?" Those two lines have been rather convicting for me. It's lilting and easy-going sound belies the depth and cutting truth of the sharply observant lyrics.
Motion Sickness - Phoebe Bridgers
Just the right amount of detatched and jaded, Phoebe Bridgers and I got along very well in 2018. She sings raw and revealing lyrics that create evocative imagery but don't force emotion. I like when she sings "I can hardly feel anything, I hardly feel anything at all". The sound of this song was/is to me the sound of struggling with being numb and trying to shake yourself loose from its grip.
Keep Yourself Warm - Frightened Rabbit
I have thought a lot about where and how sex functions in global culture and experienced so many fascinating and disappointing dynamics around it personally, through friends, and observing in places where I've traveled. I heard once that a functional definition of addiction is trying to meet a legitimate need illegitimately. I think that's kind of the point of this song. Even amidst all the f-bombs and blunt imagery, I think their point is well-taken. Sometimes we expect sex to meet the deeper needs we have, and the act alone cannot really meet them in a way that heals or satisfies, despite the relief it may provide. I tend to take sex pretty seriously and I know that mine is an uncommon viewpoint for the most part, but I appreciate that these guys are at least asking interesting questions about it in their music.
Nonbeliever - Lucy Dacus
Another amazing female songwriter, observing the change taking place in a person leaving behind a way of life and a worldview. Those can be painful relational shifts and trying journeys that sometimes lead to the end of a road. I love that it raises questions about her own beliefs and perceptions, but that ultimately she seems unconvinced and also the questions the "nonbeliever" too.
I Spend Too Much Time In My Room - The Band Camino
Perhaps a little too on-the-nose, this song reminds me of how I did a lot of withdrawing in 2018. My room/apartment can function, at different times, like a super fortress (not good) or a sanctuary (good). I like how this pop song stumbles into a deep truth about how depression or sadness can look.
No Ordinary Blue - John Prine
A beautiful song from a man who is looking clear-eyed at the end of his life. The blue seems to be regret, but also the orange on the horizon speaks of a hope that overtakes the blue. There are empty spaces, but the hope of what lies ahead leads us beyond them, and creates a peaceful expectancy for the great beyond.
Wedding in Finisterre - Jens Lekman
I love every single thing about this song. It's silly, heartwarming, observant, so fun to dance and sing to, light-hearted and yet thoughtful. I have also found that most of Jens Lekman's songs are like this and they are delight to the ears, the heart, and the mind. He tells great stories in his songs that reveal unexpected jewels of humanity.
And Death Shall Have No Dominion - Paul Kelly
A genius setting of a Dylan Thomas poem to music. I was looking for hope anywhere I could find it in 2018 and I was so grateful to find it in this form. Mr. Kelly has apparently been making music for decades and I never knew about him. A gem. So glad to have him in my life.
Memoria - Sunflower Bean
A good song about being a little haunted. I think when we miss someone we sometimes want to feel that space because if we don't feel it, we forget that they're gone. I like them pointing out that there is meaning in the past, whether or not we're completely sure of what it is in the present moment.
Skateaway - Dire Straits
Mark Knopfler is probably my favorite guitar player... ever? I don't know. That's a bold claim. Not 100% on that, but I seriously love him. Also, I am somehow deeply connected to the girl who this song was written about, and I kinda wish it was me.
"Space Age Love Song" - A Flock of Seagulls
It's the most quintessentially 80s song, but somehow it stands the test of time for me. I heard this because I was watching a TV show and it came on in the background and I loved it, never having heard it before. I am a student of 80s music and that this one slipped past me for so long was an unexpected and welcome surprise. Don't let Mike Score's hair distract you from the amazing synthesizer loops and guitar on reverb (eat your heart out Angels and Airwaves!).
If You Want Blood (You Got it) - AC/DC
My "turn it all the way up, get outta my face, go nuts, freak out, dance around, putting on my leather jacket, fire up the Triumph for a cruise, I'm about to lose my mind" anthem. I dare you not to bang the drum beat on your steering wheel.
A Brand New Life - Panama Wedding
I mentioned being "untethered" earlier. This song gets right at that. Don't we all kind of have dreams like this? They're not right for everyone, but in some small way, it's nice to know that other people have this call of the wild in their heart too.
Late Night (It's Okay) - VHS Collection
I listened to this on every single car ride back home at night for at least three months. Again, a song about hiding from the world and what it feels like late at night when you can't sleep and things just don't feel right. I like that it says "it's okay". Sometimes I just needed to hide and tell myself exactly those words when I was overwhelmed, overthinking, or freaking out.
No year-end song review from me is complete without my pick in this category, which this track won by a landslide.
I'll hopefully be along shortly with the 2019 picks, y'all. Thanks for listening with me!
I tried so many times to write this post, but every time I would pick it up I just wanted to throw it away. So now, at the end of 2019, with a little time on my hands, I picked up the question of writing it again. I managed to complete 2017's entry a few months ago. And then it only seemed right to complete this one. The playlist was there, and I kept thinking about what I would write if I ever got around to it. And now, I think it's time to face the music (ha!).
So, here it is. My songs of 2018 with all the beloved color commentary and neuroses you've come to expect from me below the playlist in case you'd like some context for the choices. Enjoy, friends!
What I Needed to Hear...
"I Know A Place" - MUNA
I so needed a place like is being described in this song in 2018. I liked thinking about safe places where I could lay down my weapons and protecting myself all the time and, as cliché as it may sound, to be completely free of responsibility -- untethered. KG and I did our first "tune-up" trip this summer on the heels of a wedding I went to out in Colorado and it was the first time I had felt that untethered feeling in a long time. It healed me in ways I cannot express in words. Big skies, no walls, and the open road feel like the safest places for me these days.
I watched this movie on a flight from Nepal to Doha in October at the end of a month-long intense journey that started in Italy and took me through Switzerland, Germany, Kuwait and into the Himalayas. I can't remember a movie that pushed more emotional buttons in me. It's about a father/daughter bonding journey and it revolves around music. I was emotionally weak when I watched it, exhausted and exhilarated from the grand adventure, and this movie and its soundtrack was like a warm blanket of comfort.
La Marcheuse - Christine and the Queens
I have developed a deep, abiding love for very long walks. In the summer, when it's dark and a bit cooler, I would leave my house around 8 and not come back for hours. Something about the rhythm and the movement has been so helpful for me to start to unknot some of the very messy things in me. The Camino was the first time I realized the grace and peace of a long walk, and taking a long time to get somewhere. I think this song gets at that same sentiment, when there are hard things, "easy violence", that have come into your life, sometimes the best thing, or the only thing, is to walk.
 |
| Kilimanjaro Summit Day |
I love how Spoon never sounds like anyone else, and that's been true for the 2+ decades they've been at it as a band. Good on ya, boys. It's no easy feat to preserve a unique voice and sound for that long and be committed to it. I admire it so much, and hope for that very same thing in my own life.
Stop you in your tracks beauty...
Signals - Júníus Meyvant
I love the steady beat of this song. I listened to this on the tune-up trip while in the wilds of Utah's canyonlands in high summer and it was perfect. Remind me to tell you about the time on that trip that Bruce Springsteen got me out of a reckless driving ticket and almost got me a date with a highway patrolman.
 |
| Salt Flats - Bonneville Speedweek at Sunrise |
Ekki Hugsa - ólafur Arnalds
Ah how beautiful this song is, an intriguing blend of symphonic and electronic, nostalgic and hopeful. Perfect for listening when staring at a beautiful landscape, preferably one that stretches out endlessly before you that includes water, or lots of snow. Something in it makes my heart swell and lifts me up each time I hear it.
Songs of Travel 4: Youth and Love - Ralph Vaughan Williams feat. Bryn Terfel
Possibly the most gorgeous piano introduction I've ever heard. To me, it sounds exactly like the ephemeral glisten of youth and love. And Bryn Terfel's beautiful, rich baritone above it's dulcet melody is other-worldly.
To the heart of youth the world is a highwayside.
Passing for ever, he fares; and on either hand,
Deep in the gardens golden pavilions hide,
Nestle in orchard bloom, and far on the level land
Call him with lighted lamp in the eventide.
Passing for ever, he fares; and on either hand,
Deep in the gardens golden pavilions hide,
Nestle in orchard bloom, and far on the level land
Call him with lighted lamp in the eventide.
Thick as the stars at night when the moon is down,
Pleasures assail him. He to his nobler fate
Fares; and but waves a hand as he passes on,
Cries but a wayside word to her at the garden gate,
Sings but a boyish stave and his face is gone.
Pleasures assail him. He to his nobler fate
Fares; and but waves a hand as he passes on,
Cries but a wayside word to her at the garden gate,
Sings but a boyish stave and his face is gone.
-Robert Louis Stevenson, 1908
 |
| Poon Hill Sunrise - Himalayas |
You Get Me...
Every Time I Hear That Song - Brandi Carlisle
Those that love music, and sometimes even people that don't, often have songs associated with moments or people. Music is really special that way and it can also be a curse. I completely feel for Brandi and people in this same boat. There are so many things that I hear in the normal course of life that when I do I am instantly put back into a moment or completely enveloped with thoughts of a specific person I associate with whatever music it is. It's a beautiful thing but also sometimes kind of hard. I've gotten better at the distractions now, but if you ever see me get a faraway look in my eye when we're deep in conversation, you should just tell the place where we are to turn the music down. And, I'm sorry in advance. I promise, if you ask I'll tell you the story. It's usually a good one. And in closing, let's all take a moment to appreciate Brandi Carlile's consistently fantastic songwriting.
Lift the Lonely From My Heart - Courtney Marie Andrews
In the tradition of the grandes dames of country music like Dolly, Loretta, Patsy, Linda, Bonnie, this song harkens back to a bygone era. I love the retro sound and the unabashed emotion on display. It's perhaps a little too over-the-top for every day listening but every once in a while you just need a good heartbreaker of a song. I read Loretta Lynn's autobiography in 2018 and completely loved it. I also recommend the eponymous biopic starring Sissy Spacek and Tommy Lee Jones.
Traveling Alone - Tift Merritt
Something I'm getting a lot of experience in these last couple of years, and that I've developed a pretty serious taste for. I first saw Tift Merritt in the pouring rain of a bluegrass festival in western North Carolina with my brother and father in 2013. She caught my ear then and I've been listening to her beautiful voice, pedal steel, and kindred spirit for years.
 |
| Assisi |
Another incredible songwriter, with a powerful, poignant and gorgeous song. "Wouldn't you die to know how you seem? Are you getting away with who you're trying to be?" Those two lines have been rather convicting for me. It's lilting and easy-going sound belies the depth and cutting truth of the sharply observant lyrics.
Motion Sickness - Phoebe Bridgers
Just the right amount of detatched and jaded, Phoebe Bridgers and I got along very well in 2018. She sings raw and revealing lyrics that create evocative imagery but don't force emotion. I like when she sings "I can hardly feel anything, I hardly feel anything at all". The sound of this song was/is to me the sound of struggling with being numb and trying to shake yourself loose from its grip.
Interesting Philosphizing...
Keep Yourself Warm - Frightened Rabbit
I have thought a lot about where and how sex functions in global culture and experienced so many fascinating and disappointing dynamics around it personally, through friends, and observing in places where I've traveled. I heard once that a functional definition of addiction is trying to meet a legitimate need illegitimately. I think that's kind of the point of this song. Even amidst all the f-bombs and blunt imagery, I think their point is well-taken. Sometimes we expect sex to meet the deeper needs we have, and the act alone cannot really meet them in a way that heals or satisfies, despite the relief it may provide. I tend to take sex pretty seriously and I know that mine is an uncommon viewpoint for the most part, but I appreciate that these guys are at least asking interesting questions about it in their music.
Nonbeliever - Lucy Dacus
Another amazing female songwriter, observing the change taking place in a person leaving behind a way of life and a worldview. Those can be painful relational shifts and trying journeys that sometimes lead to the end of a road. I love that it raises questions about her own beliefs and perceptions, but that ultimately she seems unconvinced and also the questions the "nonbeliever" too.
 |
| Swayambhunath - Kathmandu |
I Spend Too Much Time In My Room - The Band Camino
Perhaps a little too on-the-nose, this song reminds me of how I did a lot of withdrawing in 2018. My room/apartment can function, at different times, like a super fortress (not good) or a sanctuary (good). I like how this pop song stumbles into a deep truth about how depression or sadness can look.
No Ordinary Blue - John Prine
A beautiful song from a man who is looking clear-eyed at the end of his life. The blue seems to be regret, but also the orange on the horizon speaks of a hope that overtakes the blue. There are empty spaces, but the hope of what lies ahead leads us beyond them, and creates a peaceful expectancy for the great beyond.
Wedding in Finisterre - Jens Lekman
I love every single thing about this song. It's silly, heartwarming, observant, so fun to dance and sing to, light-hearted and yet thoughtful. I have also found that most of Jens Lekman's songs are like this and they are delight to the ears, the heart, and the mind. He tells great stories in his songs that reveal unexpected jewels of humanity.
And Death Shall Have No Dominion - Paul Kelly
A genius setting of a Dylan Thomas poem to music. I was looking for hope anywhere I could find it in 2018 and I was so grateful to find it in this form. Mr. Kelly has apparently been making music for decades and I never knew about him. A gem. So glad to have him in my life.
 |
| Roma - NAC rooftop with the fam |
A good song about being a little haunted. I think when we miss someone we sometimes want to feel that space because if we don't feel it, we forget that they're gone. I like them pointing out that there is meaning in the past, whether or not we're completely sure of what it is in the present moment.
Oldies but goodies...
Skateaway - Dire Straits
Mark Knopfler is probably my favorite guitar player... ever? I don't know. That's a bold claim. Not 100% on that, but I seriously love him. Also, I am somehow deeply connected to the girl who this song was written about, and I kinda wish it was me.
"Space Age Love Song" - A Flock of Seagulls
It's the most quintessentially 80s song, but somehow it stands the test of time for me. I heard this because I was watching a TV show and it came on in the background and I loved it, never having heard it before. I am a student of 80s music and that this one slipped past me for so long was an unexpected and welcome surprise. Don't let Mike Score's hair distract you from the amazing synthesizer loops and guitar on reverb (eat your heart out Angels and Airwaves!).
 |
| Lake Eibsee |
I desperately need to freak out in my car...
If You Want Blood (You Got it) - AC/DC
My "turn it all the way up, get outta my face, go nuts, freak out, dance around, putting on my leather jacket, fire up the Triumph for a cruise, I'm about to lose my mind" anthem. I dare you not to bang the drum beat on your steering wheel.
A Brand New Life - Panama Wedding
I mentioned being "untethered" earlier. This song gets right at that. Don't we all kind of have dreams like this? They're not right for everyone, but in some small way, it's nice to know that other people have this call of the wild in their heart too.
Late Night (It's Okay) - VHS Collection
I listened to this on every single car ride back home at night for at least three months. Again, a song about hiding from the world and what it feels like late at night when you can't sleep and things just don't feel right. I like that it says "it's okay". Sometimes I just needed to hide and tell myself exactly those words when I was overwhelmed, overthinking, or freaking out.
 |
| Stuttgart Volksfest |
Sexiest song of the year...
Un Tabaco Para Elegua - Orquestra AkokánNo year-end song review from me is complete without my pick in this category, which this track won by a landslide.
I'll hopefully be along shortly with the 2019 picks, y'all. Thanks for listening with me!
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